Hold On
by The Steppy One
Summary: Songfic based on Take That's 'Hold On'. Ron and Hermione have to break a vicious cycle of behaviour.


**So, I'm going through fic that I have posted elsewhere but not on here and making my various fanfic accounts looking pretty similar. Anally retentive? Yes! You should see the colour coded spreadsheet! :D**

**Songfic coming up, inspired by Take That's Hold On. Absolutely beautiful song. Enjoy! ;)  
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**Hold On**

_Songwriters: Barlow, Gary; Donald, Howard; Orange, Jason; Owen, Mark Anthony; Robson, Stephen; Shanks, John;_

We've been here many times before, Leaving rooms and slamming doors  
We're climbing up the bedroom walls, Sometimes we make it so frustrating  
I touch your mouth, I touch your lips, The answers at our fingertips  
Not giving up or giving in, Why are we so complicated?

Oh tell me what to say, tell me, To make it all ok ... yeah

I don't wanna see you hurting, Just hold on, Just hold on to me  
I don't wanna see you crying, So hold on, So hold on to me

I'm tryin' to think of what to do, To really make it up to you  
So many truths, too many lies, Making love can be so crazy  
I find myself back here again, Asking you to let me in  
You know it's time, we need to change, How can we live with all these maybes?

There are no words that say, no words, To make it go away

I don't wanna see you hurting. Just hold on, Just hold on to me  
I don't wanna see you crying, So hold on, So hold on to me

'Cause baby it's alright, I'm staying here tonight, So hold on  
Just tell me what to say, To let you know, I'll always stay  
I don't wanna see you hurting, Just hold on, Just hold on to me  
I don't wanna see you crying, So hold on, So hold on to me

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I'll admit, I slammed the door first, but I had to do something physical or I would have exploded.

I'll admit, leaving was not the best thing to do, I've just made things ten times worse, but still, if I hadn't I would have said something that would have made things a hundred times worse, so I think I made the right choice.

I don't even know how it started, we were just lying there, not saying anything. We'd been fighting, again, and had ended the argument by having sex, again. We know it only serves as a distraction, the problem doesn't go away while we make love, it just hangs above us, but we pretend it isn't there any more. For a while we're caught in anything but the problem, even though we're inadvertently wrapping it tighter around us.

I can't even remember what we were arguing about, and that's something that I've said too many times. It starts off as a comment, normally truthful but said in the wrong way and it escalates from there.

We stand there, chests heaving, waiting for the other to say something that winds us up even more and makes us more frustrated before stepping forward and closing the gap between us. We fall into each other and kiss each other in a way that could never be seen as loving. We do it because as much as we might dislike each other at that point, we can't live without each other. And as I said, it puts off the inevitable.

And the inevitable happened about thirty seconds after we'd finished. There was another comment and we were off again, battering each other with words. Some we didn't mean, others that we did. The thing is, neither of us could tell which were truth and which were lies, they all hurt, so what difference did it make. They all hurt, always.

And then I left, slamming the door as I went.

I avoid the doors when I return, a few minutes later. Some people would think my attempt at leaving was pathetic, but I never intended to leave. I don't do that, _we_ don't do that. I don't leave because I love her more than anything in the world, and she doesn't leave because for some reason, she feels the same way about me.

As I walk up the stairs I wonder why people think we're perfect for each other, if that were true, surely this wouldn't happen. Then again, we always make it back to each other, maybe that's what they see. Thing is, this can't go on, one day one of us will snap and I know I won't be able to cope with what happens afterwards. The thought of losing her terrifies me.

At the beginning, when things were brilliant but overwhelming, I'd worry that I wasn't completely and utterly sure that all the stuff that was going was what I wanted, but then I'd look at her, see her smiling and hear her telling me that she loved me and every single doubt I had dissolved. I felt it then, the terror of losing her, and I feel it now. Just now it seems ever more likely and real.

I walk into the bedroom and she's sitting on the bed, wearing my Canons shirt and surrounded by the duvet.

She looks up at me and we look into each other's eyes. We see exactly the same thing, confusion and frustration that this has happened _again_, an apology because neither of us quite know why it happened, a more sincere apology for the things we said that we didn't mean, and a promise that we'll try and not let this happen again.

She's hurting, I'm hurting and we both need to stop. I climb on the bed and we hold each other tightly, again, apologising without words as we have before. She's crying, I realise it a second before I feel tears fall down my face, we don't want to see the other upset, so we hug each other tighter.

The tears are for me, for us, for what we did have, and for what we fear may come.

She knows I'm jealous, I know she holds resentment, we tell each other it's fine even though it plainly isn't.

We hold each other, still not saying a word. In a few minutes we'll get up and carry on as if nothing happened. I'll tell her that of course I would never leave her and that I only left to get some air and to give her some space. She'll nod and tidy up the bedroom with a flick of her wand, and then we'll go downstairs and make some food.

Except this time we won't, because I need to stop this. I wish she'd tell me what I had to say to make it better, but I don't need her to, like she doesn't need to ask me. We both know, we're just too scared to talk about it.

I pull back from her and she looks a little shocked. I take her hands in mine and entwine our fingers. We know what the answer is, we just have to be brave enough to do what's right.

I'm not going anywhere, I'm staying here, next to her until the day I die.

But the hurt has got to stop.


End file.
